wilderbutterflySometimes, we all have bad days. Sometimes my inclination is to hide under a bed for a day or two, or to curse the world. Sometimes, I want to pound my fist and lie on the floor, throwing a temper tantrum. Being an adult is hard! At these times, it's really important for me to remember that I am a badass! I have run 4 marathons to completion, graduated with an advanced degree, raised a wonderful 9 year old boy, cultivated a successful marriage, and held down a full time job. Here are some tips that I use (backed up by science) to help me feel like a badass when I am downtrodden. Or just on any given day. Just because. Who doesn't want to feel like a badass!?
1. Tell yourself you're a badass: Yup. Self-affirmation. I know many people call bullshit. But there are real, scientific studies on neural pathways that state that telling yourself makes something true in your mind, which means that you'll begin to act as if it's true. That means, if you tell yourself that you can fly....you might want to pre-schedule a Dr. appointment. You don't have goddamned wings. Cheez people. Psychology isn't magic.
2. Take an ol' fashioned super hero pose. Put your hands on your hips and stand, chest out for five minutes. You might feel silly at first, but studies show this works! And at the worst, you've just spent five minutes pretending you've got superpowers. The best part is, even if you are a cynic, the power posture works. So go ahead, strike a pose!
3. Listen to music about being a badass. I personally like Lady Gaga's "Born This Way," or Beyoncé's "Run the World".
4. Do something hard. I'm not talking about leaving your job and trekking through India, but go do cross fit. Power lift. Run ten miles. Write 50,000 words. Setting goals that are difficult but attainable helps you feel more resilient.
5. After you do the hard thing, brag to yourself about it. See number 1. You did the thing! You deserve to be celebrated!
6. You've heard of a pity party? Throw yourself a badass party. Buy yourself a cake and celebrate yourself. Come up with positive attributes that describe you. Decorate the cake with them. After all, aren't you a fabulous strong, beautiful person? Aren't you honest, intelligent and interesting? Avoid thinking negative thoughts. Bring on the narcissism. Now is the time to be self-assured. We all feel like we're faking it. At least a little.
7. Exercise. Getting those endorphins flowing makes me feel good. Even if it's just a little stretch and chat. I'm a distance runner, and there's nothing like the runner's high to make you feel like you're a badass. (See number 4)
8. Do something you're good at. There is nothing more rewarding than being competent. Do you juggle? Can you tell jokes? Do you bake? Do that thing. Writer? Don't forget to return to number 1 and tell yourself how amazing it is that you can juggle/write/cook.
9. Go to a happy place! No, not an Adam Sandler reference of a happy place, but a physical place you like. I have always felt the calmest and best outside. For me, the woods are a place of wonder. When you're feeling good is the best time to be a badass.
10. Do multiples of these things. Run a marathon with a friend while telling yourself you're a badass and listening to affirming music.
Remember to be kind to yourselves, y'all. We have one body and one mind. No one can be perfect. But damn, are you close!
(Published Dec 7, 2015 on Blogspot: How to be a Badass; a Step-by-Step Guide)