Question Series: Monogamy is Moral

Questions Series

The purpose of these is to truly question what I don’t understand. There is no stance, or even any real facts. It is an openness to thoughts and more importantly questions.

Question 2: Monogamy is Moral

Monogamy is moral. One of our purposes in life is to find our partner, our better half, our soul mate and be together as long as life will allow us, right?

That’s what Disney used to teach us, the princess marries the prince and lives happily ever after. But what if the new Disney movies, focusing on broader topics such as the bond between siblings and love of self? Are they exploring these new themes because people are bored with the old moral tropes? Is this boredom changing their minds? And if their minds are changing, ignoring for a moment that we don’t know who “they” are, then does that mean morals are changing?

We have a new focus on betterment of self in society with the rise of psychology. Therapy, mindfullness, self growth are slowly branching out into the world and one of their main lessons is that to better the world, we must first better ourselves. With this new focus on our own self worth, does finding the perfect lifelong match become less of a priority? Does it open us to the possibility of loving no one but ourselves, or loving more than one person at a time?

Many people love more than one romantic partner in their lifetime, what if they love them at the same time? What if they still love someone else while they fall in love with someone new? Does the love change or become tarnished in some way? Is it less meaningful to any of the parties involved? Does having more or less meaning make it immoral?

How can loving someone, truly loving anyone be wrong? When did sharing become immoral? It’s a skill we’re taught as toddlers is vital to making friends and being a good person. We’re suppose to share toys and snacks and friends so why would is it considered immoral to share other types of partners? We love our friends without hierarchy, there are differences in our relationships in depth and connection but they are all our friends. When we have more than one child, our heart expands to love them all.

So if it’s not the sharing of love that makes something immoral, is it the way it makes us feel that leads us to believing it’s wrong? The jealousy, the heart break, the insecurity, the fact that we are then forced to ask ourselves one of the most terrifying questions in the human experience: am I good enough?

If we can bring ourselves to believe the answer to that question is yes, does our perspective on morality alter? Do we begin to believe that a number, one people, two people, three people, or four has no morality? Numbers don’t have a morality. Is it therefore not more important how we behave within those numerical structures? If we treat ourselves, our one partner, or five, ethically (however we define ethics), is that not more moral than unethically loving just one soul mate as long as life will allow us?